Some Pokemon fans say the "regional variants" in Sun and Moon and Sword and Shield are merely lazy palette swaps of popular Pokemon. To those people, I say "Take a look at Galarian Meowth, then come back to me and we'll have a conversation about these supposed palette swaps."
You don't have to search for long before you meet Galarian Meowth. He'll gladly run up to you on Route Four because he's a psychopath with no fear of humans or their puny gods. Pardon my PokeFrench, but I literally blurted "What the fuck is that" when I saw my first Galarian Meowth, and my husband was understandably puzzled why I was shouting about the bowl of cereal he was carrying.
what the fuck is that? what the fuck is that is that a fucking cat? ay, don’t fuckin look at me like that, thats a weird lookin fuckin cat! MA! THERES A WEIRD FUCKIN STRAY CAT OUTSIDE IT LOOKS.. IT LOOKS LIKE GRANDMA THE FUCKIN THING pic.twitter.com/NzrOM6FojT— jess BEAUJESTER REAL (@jessterlavorre) November 15, 2019
Some might say Galarian Meowth is small at 1'4"; I say he's exactly the right height to make you think seriously about guarding your nether regions. (He has seven huge teeth, all undoubtedly serrated for his flesh-tearing needs.) His eyes are devoid of mercy or compassion. And though I've never said a tasteless thing in my entire life, I'm afraid I must point out that Galarian Meowth's matted apron of hair swings with disturbingly fleshy weight—like a testicle afflicted with elephantiasis.
According to his PokeDex entry, Galarian Meowth turned weird after years of hanging around with a "savage, seafaring people." Let this be a warning to any normal Meowths who are thinking of signing on for a three-hour tour with Vikings or the Greyjoys.
I'm sure there are some of you out there saying, "Well, at least there isn't a Pokemon more horrifying than Galarian Meowth." Take a look at its evolution—"Purrserker"—and come back to me so we can have another conversation.
Thankfully, not every Pokemon in Sword and Shield is nightmare-inducing. Some are cute and cool, as you can see in our article about the best new Pokemon in Sword and Shield. You should also check out our review of the game, and read our guide on where to find all of Sword and Shield's TM's and TR's.