It Looks Like a Clown Threw up Trix Cereal on Levi's Super Mario Shirts and Jackets

It Looks Like a Clown Threw up Trix Cereal on Levi's Super Mario Shirts and Jackets

It's time to get snobby about children's fashion again.

If I made a list of Things I Care About in order from highest to lowest, "Fashion" would rank so low on the list, it'd probably make a crater. Yet here I am crossing my arms and glowering at Levi's discordant line of Super Mario clothing. Stranger still, this is the second time this very week that I've kvetched about game-related clothing. Maybe I'll start ranking "fashion" a little higher.

Levi's posted a video on Twitter that briefly pans across the available Mario articles, most of which seem to be intended for children. There are shirts, trucker jackets, pants, shorts, and even fanny packs. Kids, I know I give you a hard time on occasion, but if you're reviving fanny packs, you're all OK with me. Let the '90s roar.

Speaking of roars: If the Mario character pattern Levi's is using on some of these items was any louder, God would bang his broom handle on the floor of Heaven and yell at us to keep it down. The Mushroom Kingdom mishmash is a tangle of classic Mario characters and enemies. Looking at it is headache-inducing; there's nowhere for your eyes to rest. Why, Levi's?

Levi's Super Mario promotion comes just as Super Mario Bros. starts celebrating its 35 years of massive pop culture relevance. Japan-based clothing company Uniqlo has the same idea. I scolded Uniqlo earlier this week, as their Super Mario Bros. line-up is dull and has some design flaws.

I'm not going to trash Levi's line-up. Other than the chaotic Mushroom Kingdom print, its Super Mario clothing line-up is pretty cool. There's a nice selection of jean jackets fitted with Nintendo character patches, and I dig the shirt where Mario is hitting the Levi's logo in lieu of a brick. Unlike Uniqlo, Levi's line-up doesn't offer much in the way of adult clothing, but I've no doubt the line will be a hit with kids.

I mean, hey—the fanny pack is already sold out! Great job, kids. Snap that baby around your waist and throw up your hands. Now that they're no longer bound by the tyranny of bags and purses, they are truly free. And in turn, you are free as well. Hallelujah.

(Header image via Slashgear)

Sometimes we include links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. See our terms & conditions.

Nadia Oxford

Staff Writer

Nadia has been writing about games for so long, only the wind and the rain (or the digital facsimiles thereof) remember her true name. She's written for Nerve, About.com, Gamepro, IGN, 1UP, PlayStation Official Magazine, and other sites and magazines that sling words about video games. She co-hosts the Axe of the Blood God podcast, where she mostly screams about Dragon Quest.

Related articles

Cuphead's Delicious Last Course Pushed Back Until It's Ready

The final sip will need to steep a while longer.

Super Mario Maker Support on Wii U is Coming to an End Next Year

That means it'll also be removed from the eShop soon.

Microsoft Is Working to "Identify and Resolve" Performance Issues in Xbox Series X Games

A Microsoft spokesperson says that developers are "just now scratching the surface" of what the new Xbox consoles can do.

Metro Exodus Is Getting a Next-Gen Version Next Year

4A Games is also working on the next Metro and exploring potential for multiplayer.

You may also like

Sony Promises More PS5 Supply for Holidays After Record-Breaking Launch

Despite the widespread e-commerce woes, the PS5 had the biggest console debut ever.

Marvel's Avengers Has Yet to Make Back Its Development Costs

Square Enix is saying it will continue pushing toward making the game profitable, however.

Baldur's Gate 3's Next Update Will Have Its First Story Changes

Be sure to read the fine print about your saves, though.

Red Dead Online Will Launch as a Separate Game Next Month

It'll be pretty cheap at launch, too.