If I made a list of Things I Care About in order from highest to lowest, "Fashion" would rank so low on the list, it'd probably make a crater. Yet here I am crossing my arms and glowering at Levi's discordant line of Super Mario clothing. Stranger still, this is the second time this very week that I've kvetched about game-related clothing. Maybe I'll start ranking "fashion" a little higher.
Levi's posted a video on Twitter that briefly pans across the available Mario articles, most of which seem to be intended for children. There are shirts, trucker jackets, pants, shorts, and even fanny packs. Kids, I know I give you a hard time on occasion, but if you're reviving fanny packs, you're all OK with me. Let the '90s roar.
Speaking of roars: If the Mario character pattern Levi's is using on some of these items was any louder, God would bang his broom handle on the floor of Heaven and yell at us to keep it down. The Mushroom Kingdom mishmash is a tangle of classic Mario characters and enemies. Looking at it is headache-inducing; there's nowhere for your eyes to rest. Why, Levi's?
Levi's Super Mario promotion comes just as Super Mario Bros. starts celebrating its 35 years of massive pop culture relevance. Japan-based clothing company Uniqlo has the same idea. I scolded Uniqlo earlier this week, as their Super Mario Bros. line-up is dull and has some design flaws.
I'm not going to trash Levi's line-up. Other than the chaotic Mushroom Kingdom print, its Super Mario clothing line-up is pretty cool. There's a nice selection of jean jackets fitted with Nintendo character patches, and I dig the shirt where Mario is hitting the Levi's logo in lieu of a brick. Unlike Uniqlo, Levi's line-up doesn't offer much in the way of adult clothing, but I've no doubt the line will be a hit with kids.
I mean, hey—the fanny pack is already sold out! Great job, kids. Snap that baby around your waist and throw up your hands. Now that they're no longer bound by the tyranny of bags and purses, they are truly free. And in turn, you are free as well. Hallelujah.