I've been a Pokémon fan since day one and I'm still learning new things about the series all the time, e.g. Venusaur is a big ol' frog. Here's the latest tidbit that's knocked me flat: According to an informal Twitter poll, a lot of fans don't rename their Pokémon.
Earlier this week Dorkly's managing editor, Tristan Cooper, asked his 26.4k Twitter followers if they rename their Pokémon. 6,052 votes were cast with 45% of respondents saying "Yes, they are my children," and 55% of respondents claiming only degenerates rename their Pokémon.
There are some more nuanced responses to the poll in Cooper's Twitter thread. Some Pokémon trainers say they only rename members of their main team. One responder said they never change any names during a maiden playthrough of a Pokémon title, but go to town with subsequent playthroughs.
Do you rename your Pokemon?— Tristan Cooper (@TristanACooper) August 5, 2018
A Twitter poll is a quick-and-dirty way of taking stock of a group's opinions, and the results might only be a loose interpretation of popular opinion. That said, Pokémon Go's new Friend system already clued me in about people's hesitance to name their Poké-Pals. When you pick up a gift from one of your friends in Pokémon Go, you can see what they've named the buddy Pokémon they walk with. A disappointing percentage of my friends haven't bestowed a creative moniker on their buddy.
I'm not going to mince words. If you don't name your Pokémon, I'm very disappointed in you. You're blowing our generation's best chance at being a creative smartass. I've named every single one of my Pokémon since I played Pokémon Red in 1998. I've commanded Pokémon named after rock stars, anime characters, literary heroes, Biblical figures—name it, and I've tried it. Getting to name things is just one of those neat things that come with sentience, so you may as well go nuts, right? I'm the reason the names of my parents' pets regressed to human names as soon as I left home. No boring names are allowed in any instance where I get a say. That goes for human babies, dogs, cats, and Pokémon.
OK, Pokémon Red and Blue's text-based menus admittedly made retrieving and trading your Pokémon a nightmare because you'd promptly forget which lucky critter was buried under the name "BIG ASS," but there's no great gain without some small loss (oh, speaking of big gains, don't forget to pore over our guide for Pokemon Let's Go on the Switch).
How about you? Do you name your Pokémon? And if not, what's your excuse?