Mario Rocks a Surprising Bald Look in an Ancient Donkey Kong Coloring Book

Mario Rocks a Surprising Bald Look in an Ancient Donkey Kong Coloring Book

To be fair, losing your girlfriend to a giant ape will make you tear your hair out.

Each one of us is embarrassed about our "awkward teenage years," but only Nintendo superstar Mario can talk about his awkward twilight years. A recently unearthed Donkey Kong coloring book shows us a surprisingly bald, rather elderly-looking Mario, even while it shows us a glimpse of who Pauline would become decades in Super Mario Odyssey.

Supper Mario Broth, a blog dedicated to sharing everything rare and bizarre about Nintendo's history, posted the curious page from the coloring book on Twitter yesterday. It depicts Mario swooning in an audience, cap in hand (and sizable bald spot shining brightly), while his then-girlfriend Pauline sings on stage. "When Pauline sings, Mario sighs," the picture's caption states. Admittedly, it took me a minute to realize Mario "sighs" because he's in love with Pauline. I initially thought Mario was sighing in exasperation, like a parent being forced to listen to their kid's off-tune recital.

The coloring book is an antique as far as video game merchandise goes. It dates to 1982, when Mario's proportions were a little rubberier and Popeye-like. Early '80s Mario is already strange to look back on in this age, since Mario rarely deviates a single centimeter from Nintendo's Laws of Modern Mario Measurements. But seeing Mario as a bald Popeye is something else.

What makes the page feel even stranger is the contrast between a faded version of Mario alongside an interpretation of Pauline that's still recognizable. (Outside of how her cheekbones jut outwards like butchers' knives.) "Our" Pauline also sings, wears her hair long, and sports a gown. Color it blood-red, kids!

True, '82 Pauline wasn't yet the mayor of a city where children aren't allowed to exist, but she was well on her way by then.

Banner art from The Cover Project

Sometimes we include links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. See our terms & conditions.

Nadia Oxford

Staff Writer

Nadia has been writing about games for so long, only the wind and the rain (or the digital facsimiles thereof) remember her true name. She's written for Nerve, About.com, Gamepro, IGN, 1UP, PlayStation Official Magazine, and other sites and magazines that sling words about video games. She co-hosts the Axe of the Blood God podcast, where she mostly screams about Dragon Quest.

Read this next

John Kirby, the Lawyer that Saved Nintendo, Dies at 79

In 1982, Kirby assisted with legal gorilla warfare.

Tropical Freeze Abruptly Disappears From Wii U eShop Ahead of Switch Release

The Wii U version is nowhere to be found digitally.

Billy Mitchell Refutes Twin Galaxies, Says "Everything Was Done According to the Rules"

The King of Kong wants to take back his title with transparency.

Donkey Kong Champion Billy Mitchell Stripped of all Records and Banished to the Shadow Realm

Billy Mitchell probably won't be hanging around Twin Galaxies for a long time.

Forget Luigi's Package, Let's Celebrate Donkey Kong's Ass

When did bananas become more exciting than coconuts?

More News

Manifold Garden Launches This Friday After Seven Years of Development

The mind-warping puzzler is finally finished.

Blizzard Bans Collegiate Hearthstone Players for Six Months Over Protest Sign [Update]

American University's players have received some late judgment.

PUBG's Next Season Will Have Players Flinging Blades and Pans in a Refreshed Miramar

Season 5 will focus on improving PUBG's second map and adds a number of new features, including the ability to toss items and melee weapons.

More on NES

John Kirby, the Lawyer that Saved Nintendo, Dies at 79

In 1982, Kirby assisted with legal gorilla warfare.

The First Three Dragon Quests Finally Leave Their Mobile Prison For Switch

Erdrick's violent kids are about to run rampant on your Switch.

Why Dragon Quest Failed to Make it In America 30 Years Ago

Nintendo tried its best to make the West love RPGs, but culture—and more importantly, timing—was against the attempt.

EarthBound’s 25th Anniversary Makes us Pine for Classic Instruction Books

Earthbound's player guide is a great example of the effort publishers expended trying to make the West fall in love with RPGs.

Where Nintendo Switch Online Has Gone Wrong

The reasons Nintendo's online service is flaccid, and what it can do to pump things up.

Sorry, but a Zelda 2 Remake Isn't Being Planned

Inti Creates boss would like you to know he's not working on it.

Recovered Super Mario Bros. Super Show Animation Cels Bring Us Back to the Franchise's Weirdest, Most Aimless Days

If you can't mix Super Mario Bros. with Billy Idol, then what's the point of life?

More Action Games

Fortnite XP Guide - How to Earn XP and Increase Your Level

This is our guide to the new Fortnite XP system, and how you can earn XP to increase your overall level.

Fortnite Medals List - How to Earn New Medals and Refresh the Punchcard

This is our full guide to the new Fortnite Medals system, including how to earn them, and times for the Punchcard refresh.

Fortnite 2 Map - All Named Locations and Landmarks on the New Fortnite Map

This is your overview to the Fortnite 2 map, including all the new landmarks and named locations on the Chapter 2 map.

Control Gets a Free Photo Mode Update Tomorrow

Document your time as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control.