Social media's been whispering for months about how Nintendo has a Super Mario 3D All-Stars collection up its sleeve for the Nintendo Switch. We knew the inevitable Nintendo Direct presentation was on its way to confirm the rumors. Today, Nintendo finally delivered unto us proof that Super Mario 3D All-Stars exists. It bundles Super Mario 64 for the N64, Super Mario Sunshine for the GameCube, and Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii.
But that's not everything Nintendo showed off this morning. It pried open our mouths and poured gallons of Mario content down our throats. There's a Mario Kart game that lets you turn your house into a racetrack through the magic of augmented reality. There's a smokin' hot Game and Watch unit that's loaded with Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros. 2: The Lost Levels. (RIP my dreams; the scalpers are the only ones who'll walk away happy from this exchange.) The original 2D Super Mario All-Stars, which collects 16-bit SNES remasters of classic 8-bit Mario games, is now on Nintendo Switch Online. And there's tons of merchandise, much of which is themed around Super Mario's 35th birthday. Merchandising! Merchandising!
I admittedly gave Super Mario 3D All-Stars a wary glance; I was hoping the games within would get more of a visual facelift, especially Super Mario 64. I'd love to play Super Mario 64 again, but unless Nintendo gives us total control of the camera, I'm not sold. No, the announcement that really excited me in Nintendo's Mario info drop is news that Super Mario 3D World, initially released on the Wii U in 2013, is getting a Switch port on February 12, 2021. Yes. Yes. I love those strange, diorama-like landscapes, those odd power-ups, that intense challenge, and the rest of it. I love how Luigi's ears are rounded on his cat suit, indicating he might be a Scottish Fold. Bring it all back to me. Let Smooth Cat Bowser live again.
I doubt Super Mario 3D World will be resurrected on the Switch with the stamp system that caused internet personality Seanbaby to face one count of Nintendo crime. Thankfully, the sting will be lessened by the new content Nintendo's adding to the game—although Nintendo's announcement for said content is odd, to say the least. After the trailer for Super Mario 3D World shows us all the merry cliffs and sprawling savannas we first visited on the Wii, it segues to a sequence where we see a stormy, rain-sodden landscape. The wind whistles, the sky is dark, and cat Mario sits enigmatically beside a cat-shaped statue with sad eyes and a spiked collar.
USGamer reporter Mathew Olson likens the scene to a Gears of War cutscene. I've always said Nintendo has a flare for dark content when it has a mind to make some. This small trailer for the new Super Mario 3D World content, titled "Bowser's Fury," is more strange than scary, however. What's the deal with the cat statue? What's with the intense storm that's swept over the bright land of the Sprixies? What's Bowser furious about this time?
I'll be happy to find out in February. Whatever Super Mario Emo 3D Rain World is selling, I'll be there next year with my MCR Black Parade playlist.