
There's an ASMR Video Featuring the Pokemon Grimer, Because Arceus Is Dead
Sound is canceled forever. No more sound.
Japan's Pokemon Kids' TV YouTube channel recently uploaded an ASMR video of what a Grimer sounds like when it walks. (Creeps? Slithers?) Hey, Pokemon Company: I know people got seriously rude during the whole "Dexit" thing with Pokemon Sword and Shield, but I don't think the world deserves… this. I sincerely hope we're even now, and I look forward to moving on as mature adults.
This isn't the first Pokemon ASMR (that's short for "Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response") video supplied by the good, weird people in charge of Pokemon Kids' TV. Last month, we got a video of Charmander snoozing by a crackling campfire. I like that video, because I think the sound of a campfire is naturally relaxing. I'm less enthusiastic about the sound this Grimer is making as it oozes (that's the word I'm looking for) its way across the scene. It just sounds—well, obscene. There, I said it.
To make things even weirder, the Grimer also barrels through a carpet of ping pong balls and across a wibbly-wobbly that really highlights the wet, sludgy sounds Grimy produces while it's trying to get from Point A to Point B. Sweet mother of every deity ever, it sounds like someone is desperately trying to assemble a human being using their bare hands and a vat of Tapioca pudding. Oh, and there's a thing that happens with a drainpipe, and… you know what, I'm done with words. I'm on strike. My only demand is that someone removes my eardrums so this never happens to me again.
If you want to make things even better for yourself, just imagine how this great grape glob smells as it flops along its way to who-knows-where. Grimer is human pollution given life and, presumably, sentience. Do you want ASMR videos about what sewer fatbergs "sound" like, internet? Because this is how we get ASMR videos about what sewer fatbergs "sound" like.
Don't Google fatbergs, please. Instead, enjoy our guides that go in-depth about Pokemon Sword and Shield's type match-ups.
In other news
Cyberpunk 2077 Has Been Removed From the PlayStation Store Following a "Discussion" With Sony [Update]
Sony is offering full refunds for those who want one.
Dicey Dungeons Had a Surprise Launch on Switch Last Night
Turns out Nintendo had another card up its sleeve. A card with, uh… with dice on it.
How Familiars.io's Creator Fit Multiplayer Monster-Taming Into a Single Tweet
Bless Twitter's Javascript embeds for letting this Pokemon-like flourish.
CD Projekt Red Is "Not Encouraging" Cyberpunk 2077 Returns, Joint-CEO Tells Investors
"We hope they'll give us a chance to improve the game on the original consoles," says Marcin Iwi?ski.
Need help?
Witcher 3: How to Start the Blood and Wine DLC and Meet Its Level Requirements
We explain how to get to Toussaint and what level you should be when you do.
Witcher 3: All the Correct Play Lines in "The Play's the Thing" Quest
We explain how to perform the Doppler's play with Priscilla, as well as whether to choose tragedy or comedy.
Pokemon Sword and Shield Mystery Gift Codes List (January 2020)
You can get free gifts in Pokemon Sword and Shield by entering certain Mystery Gift Codes. Here’s a full list of all the active codes available right now.
The Outer Worlds Shrink Ray - How to Get the Unique Shrink Ray Science Weapon
This is where you can get the Shrink Ray science weapon in The Outer Worlds, one of the unique weapons in the game.