Japan's Pokemon Kids' TV YouTube channel recently uploaded an ASMR video of what a Grimer sounds like when it walks. (Creeps? Slithers?) Hey, Pokemon Company: I know people got seriously rude during the whole "Dexit" thing with Pokemon Sword and Shield, but I don't think the world deserves… this. I sincerely hope we're even now, and I look forward to moving on as mature adults.
This isn't the first Pokemon ASMR (that's short for "Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response") video supplied by the good, weird people in charge of Pokemon Kids' TV. Last month, we got a video of Charmander snoozing by a crackling campfire. I like that video, because I think the sound of a campfire is naturally relaxing. I'm less enthusiastic about the sound this Grimer is making as it oozes (that's the word I'm looking for) its way across the scene. It just sounds—well, obscene. There, I said it.
To make things even weirder, the Grimer also barrels through a carpet of ping pong balls and across a wibbly-wobbly that really highlights the wet, sludgy sounds Grimy produces while it's trying to get from Point A to Point B. Sweet mother of every deity ever, it sounds like someone is desperately trying to assemble a human being using their bare hands and a vat of Tapioca pudding. Oh, and there's a thing that happens with a drainpipe, and… you know what, I'm done with words. I'm on strike. My only demand is that someone removes my eardrums so this never happens to me again.
If you want to make things even better for yourself, just imagine how this great grape glob smells as it flops along its way to who-knows-where. Grimer is human pollution given life and, presumably, sentience. Do you want ASMR videos about what sewer fatbergs "sound" like, internet? Because this is how we get ASMR videos about what sewer fatbergs "sound" like.
Don't Google fatbergs, please. Instead, enjoy our guides that go in-depth about Pokemon Sword and Shield's type match-ups.