Tired: Speedrunning to Ganon in Breath of the Wild. Wired: Speed-Feeding All of Its Dogs

Tired: Speedrunning to Ganon in Breath of the Wild. Wired: Speed-Feeding All of Its Dogs

"Do you like apples, dog? Well, you do now. Eat it. EAT IT."

When The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild hit the Nintendo Switch on March 3, 2017, speedrunners started setting completion records practically by nightfall. Breath of the Wild is a runner's dream: Once you get off the Great Plateau area, you're free to literally take on Ganon with a stick. Many runners do.

If you're not interested in shaving milliseconds off an any-percent run, though, what else can a speedrunner do in Hyrule? A runner named Vivoxe has an excellent answer: Feed every dog in the vast, vast realm as quickly as possible, then collect the treasures they offer.

Watch Breath of the Wild - All Dog Treasures in 1:35:51 from Vivoxe on www.twitch.tv

Thus, Breath of the Wild's "All Dog Treasures" was born, and it goes without saying it's the most important speedrun ever devised in the history of the pastime. When you feed the dogs in Breath of the Wild, they reciprocate by showing Link where he can find buried treasure. These metallic chests can be unearthed using the Magnesis rune, and Vivoxe is working hard to grab these doggy treasures as quickly as possible. At the time of this writing, Vivoxe's record is 1:35:51.

There are a couple of bumps that keep runners from stuffing apples down dogs' gullets as quick as humanly possible. First, getting off the Great Plateau can take up to 20 minutes, since it's a tutorial area where players are expected to gather and use vital Rune powers. Second—and this is interesting—one dog is "gated" behind Tarrey Town, an optional settlement that takes a lot of time to build up.

Despite the Tarrey Town time sink, feeding all the Hylian shepherds that frolic in the stables and towns of Hyrule is a blast. There's a dark side, though: Watching the run is a painful reminder that we can't pet the dogs in Breath of the Wild. It's a huge oversight—nay, a huge sin—that Nintendo never implemented any "pet the dog" code. I pray Nintendo does the right thing and lets us cuddle with everything in Breath of the Wild 2. Yes, even the Moblins. Especially the Moblins.

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Nadia Oxford

Staff Writer

Nadia has been writing about games for so long, only the wind and the rain (or the digital facsimiles thereof) remember her true name. She's written for Nerve, About.com, Gamepro, IGN, 1UP, PlayStation Official Magazine, and other sites and magazines that sling words about video games. She co-hosts the Axe of the Blood God podcast, where she mostly screams about Dragon Quest.

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