By the time I was a little girl, Mattel was already pushing Barbie as an everywoman who's more than blonde arm-candy for Ken. "She's a doctor!" the commercials crooned. "She's a fire-fighter! She's a veterinarian!" All respectable professions, but it didn't stop me from throwing whatever Barbies I received from well-meaning relatives into the tree outside our house (my Cabbage Patch Kid suffered the same fate).
I think Mattel's latest Barbie doll can handle herself if she's tossed up into a tree, though. She's Tomb Raider Barbie (fire up that crooning commercial chorus: "~Tomb~Raider Bar~bie!~"), and she's ready to kill if her life depends on it.
Look at that face. No plastic lipstick-smeared smile here. Just steely eyes and a stone-serious face molded to resemble Alicia Vikander's (who's playing Lara in the upcoming Tomb Raider movie universe reboot).
The model Tomb Raider Barbie, revealed by IGN and currently on display at the New York Toy Fair, comes with a map, a journal, a doll stand, a Certificate of Authenticity, and an axe. She also comes with an expression that clearly dictates what she'll do with that axe if someone like my kid self tries to boil her, cut her hair, microwave her, or send her on a parachuting lesson off a 15-storey balcony.
Message received, Miss Croft. I'll leave you to your spelunking.
You can pre-order Tomb Raider Barbie right now. The doll releases on March 9, and you can take it with you to the new Tomb Raider movie when it premieres on March 16.