
Unlike Arby's, Minecraft's Steve No Longer Has the Meat
Inside: More jokes about Steve's reproductive organ in the context of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
If you were scandalized by the sight of Steve hefting his meat after a victory in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, be at ease. As of update 9.0.1, the Minecraft protagonist now stuffs his oblong pork chop down his throat before he poses triumphantly.
When Steve debuted as a DLC fighter in Smash Ultimate, he brought his pickaxe, his shovel, and his lunch—a pork chop that he used to chomp on and hold at a suggestive angle when he won a match. To be blunt and forward, the pose made it look like Steve was showing us his stick. His sword. His granite block.
The internet predictably went orangutan as soon as videos and screenshots of the pose hit Twitter, which seemingly caused Nintendo to act quickly. 9.0.1 fine-tunes Steve's move set, but most of social media is focused on how Steve is edited so he's not flashing us anymore. Now, the chop disappears after Steve gulps it down.
While there are a few saintly puritans who scoff about how the pork chop's unfortunate placement never resembled a wee-wee peeking out of Steve's pants, I think most of us saw that original victory screen and laughed our faces off. I have a hard time believing it was an accident; I just can't envision a scenario where the frankly twisted Super Smash Bros. Ultimate staff looked at Steve's other white meat with pure, innocent eyes. This is the same team that paired the Spirit for Metal Gear Solid V's Paz Andrade with a Bob-Omb. They're experts at getting their twisted jollies however they can—which I salute them for.
Ah, but Steve whipping out his piggy slab at the end of a fight lacked the subtlety of the team's usual work, so it's gone. It's for the best: Steve's addition is Nintendo's best chance of bringing younger players to Smash Ultimate, and it doesn't want to jeopardize Minecraft's family-friendly tone.
RIP, Steve's munchable meat. I bet you tasted good slathered in apple sauce.
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